


One Night Only

by jprongs



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Background Relationships, Established Relationship, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abortion, M/M, Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 03:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6594580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jprongs/pseuds/jprongs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after a terrible break up with the lead singer of the popular rock band, The Marauders, Lily Evans finds herself facing everything she ran away from.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Night Only

Why was it that absolutely everyone in Bristol needed to go on a coffee run at the same time to the exact same Costa? Not to mention that it was the middle of a heat wave and lunch time was only like an hour ago. It was ridiculous. And, naturally, she was stood in a queue that was ten caffeine addicts deep waiting on elderly woman who was counting out her coins to pay in exact change. 

If it had been her choice, she would have just gone into Spar and gotten a couple of cheap cappuccinos from the machine. But, no, Marlene was insisting that if they were going to get this issue finished  in time that they would require a three page long coffee order from this  _ exact _ Costa - even though there were five within walking distance. 

The whole thing really annoyed her, but regardless. 

Just as she turned to look out the door to see how busy the high street looked, she accidentally swung her bag into something, well, someone.

“Oi, watch it with that bag of bricks there. You might kill someone.” The laugh was soft and familiar, and Lily whipped around on her heel so quickly that she nearly knocked over the teenagers in front of her with the, admittedly, excessively large purse.

“Buggering fuck!” She grinned and covered her mouth at an attempt to hide her surprise at the person stood in front of her.

“So, your choice of foul language hasn’t changed, then?”

“Remus bloody Lupin!” 

After giving him a once over, she noted all the ways that he looked absolutely amazing. He was no longer slouching or trembling a bit in public and he was, well, crazy hot. Still lanky with his curly hair hanging into his eyes, he smiled down at her and they figured out an awkward hug around his drink tray full of takeaway cups.

“Lily, you look fantastic.” He still had the crooked half smirk that he had all through primary school up to sixth form. And if she thought about it, she actually did look pretty fantastic - dropped all of her teenage hormone weight, actually starting styling her hair in a befitting way, and wore clothing that accented her figure and wasn’t just a baggy black tent over old jeans.

“I was just thinking the same about you! Christ, what’s it been? Eight years?”

“Something like that, yeah.” He set his drinks on the high top table beside them once she moved up in the queue and leaned on the stool. That’s when she caught the shimmer on his finger. Remus Lupin. Married. That wasn’t a sight she ever thought she’d see.

“So, what have you been doing the last few years?” How cliche was she? You don’t see your childhood best friend since you left for university and that’s the first thing you ask?

“Touring, mostly. Been just about everywhere by this point.” Remus shrugged and pushed his hair back and out of his face. Her eyes just followed the silver ring that seemed to catch every ray of fluorescent light in the shop. “How about you? What brings you to Bristol?”

Her? What has she done? Nothing compared to touring the entire globe with your best friends, apparently getting married, and looking like something straight out of the magazine she wrote for. “I moved to Bristol about two years ago. Marlene referred me to the magazine she was writing for and I’ve been here ever since.”

“That’s great! You always said you wanted to write.”

“I wanted to write novels, but as it turns out, I was never as good as I once thought.”

“I always thought you were brilliant.”

“Thanks.” She had to ask. “So, you’re… married now?”

Remus’ cheeks turned red and he stifled a laugh, raising his hand to look at his ring. “Yeah, been married four years this fall, actually.”

One more spot closer to the counter and to her next caffeine fix. “Wow! Anyone I know?”

This made him smile more and laugh with his entire body. “Well…”

“Is that - Holy bollocks!” Another completely unforgettable voice sounded from the front door. Honestly, if it weren’t for the posters and random pictures she saw, she’d never recognize Sirius Black. The once too-punk-for-his-own-good teenage runaway was actually quite normal-looking. Sirius seemed to have his fair share of tattoos still, but the shoulder-length hair was cropped into a stylish quaff and he had that stubble that drove some women, herself included, pretty fucking mad. “Evans! Blimey, it’s been yonks. How in the hell have you been?”

She smiled awkwardly as he pulled her into a hug. “Hey Sirius. So you two are still inseparable then?”

That’s when Remus bit his lip and shrugged shyly, handing Sirius a coffee cup before leaning his head on the other man’s shoulder to hide more laughter.

“Inseparable?” SIrius cocked a brow. “I’d fucking hope so. We’re bloody married.”

“You -” Lily’s jaw must’ve dislocated and sat on the floor for a bit because both men were shaking their heads and then Remus was fixing Sirius’ stray hairs and Sirius was winking at her. “For four years?”

“Where have you been? He only posts constant pictures of me sleeping, eating, drinking, randomly staring off out the window, walking the dog, and various other completely mundane things on every social media outlet his phone will connect to.” Remus shook his head.

“I apparently live under a rock?” She bit her lip to keep her mouth from hanging open. It had been pretty obvious to anyone that was around them for more than five minutes that they drove each other mad. She just never thought they’d ever make a go of it. “Well, good on you.”

“So, are you coming to the show tonight?” Sirius perked up and folded his sunglasses into his t shirt.

“Show?”

“Why else would we be in Bristol? We’re playing just down the street.”

“Oh, no, I-” 

“Bollocks. You’re coming. No ticket necessary. I’ll put your name on our list and just tell them at the door! Hell, I’ll give you two plus ones!”

“Really, Sirius, you don’t have to…” She looked pleadingly over at Remus who simply took a drink from his coffee.

“One for Pete and one for Reg - hey, bring Marlene! And…” He motioned towards her before Remus elbowed him hard in the ribs.

“Well, my  _ husband _ and I must be off. We have a soundcheck to get to and some very coffee-deprived friends to attend to.” Remus gave her a wink.

“Wait, you don’t mean -” Lily stammered before she was cut off.

“Ta, love! See you tonight!” Sirius gave her a coy smile and then Remus pushed him back out the door.

Two ‘Plus One’s. One for Pete. One for Reg. Lily thought about it as the teenagers in front of her paid for their overly-complicated frappuccinos. He meant her for someone else. No, no. Not again. She was not going down that rabbit hole. That is why she didn’t know about Remus apparently getting fucking married or Sirius looking like something out of GQ. She’d taken them all out of her life to get away from the bad habit catalyst that was James Potter.

“I did an awful thing.” Lily whispered as she sat Marlene’s coffee in front of her.

“Oh, did you shag someone in the alley behind Costa? Because that’s how long it took you to get back with two coffees and a half-eaten scone.” Marlene rolled her eyes and continued adjusting settings on her InDesign window. “Where’s my carrot cake?”

“I ate it.”

“You’re such a shit friend, Lily.” The blonde glared and then dumped more sugar into her already sweet drink. “So, what was so terrible that you ate your feelings two blocks back to the office?”

“Well, you remember The Marauders are playing in town tonight, right?”

“Obviously. I wrote a piece about it after you said you refused to publish anything in regards to he-who-must-not-be-named. What, did you walk past one of the posters, rip it down, and burn it?”

Lily shook her head, turning a violent shade of red.

Marlene grinned, and leaned closer. “Did you burn down the venue? If you did, I call dibs on writing that article. I deserve an exclusive for putting up with you for twelve years!”

“Alright, calm down… It’s not that bad!”

“Says you. So, dish. Considering last week you said we should picket outside the entrance when people were lining up for it.”

“I got us tickets.”

“You  _ what _ ?” Marlene scoffed and looked around as if for cameras. “You’re joking right?  _ You _ bought tickets to a Marauders concert?”

“No.” She put her head into her arms and leaned on the desk. “I ran into someone while I was getting coffee.”

“Did you see -”

“No, not him.”

“Just tell me before you wear this coffee, Lily Evans, or so help me…” Marlene was about to burst with laughter, excitement, or just generally explode. One couldn’t be sure.

“I bumped into Remus Lupin, literally.” Lily looked back up, red hair falling into her face. “He apparently married - “

“Sirius. Yeah, I already know that. Gossip column, remember?” Laughter. She was bursting into laughter. Obnoxiously. “So, what are you going to wear?!”

The only reaction Marlene received from her was an over dramatic groan. 

 

In the end, the answer to Marlene’s question was she was going to wear a tight black halter top that definitely did not belong in her closet and a pair of jeans. She had a pretty good cat eye going and was just touching up the mascara when Marlene stumbled into their shared bathroom with a smirk wide enough to crack the earth.

“Oh god, now what?” 

“Sirius Black just did an interview with the Bristol Uni student radio. Said they were truly looking forward tonight and it would be a big show for them - they’re going to play a load of old songs.” She was absolutely beaming from her lengthy side braid to her red lips. But, that being said, Marlene always looked stunning.

Pouting, Lily chucked her mascara unceremoniously back into her bag. “Do we have to go, really?”

“He definitely knows you’re coming if he’s playing old songs!”

“I’m suddenly feeling ill.”

“He’s single, you know.”

“Think I’m coming down with the flu or a pox or something.”

“Are you going to talk to him?”

“No.”

“But, it’s  _ James _ . This is your what-if guy we’re talking about!”

“We don’t speak his name.”

“We bloody will do tonight, let’s go!”

 

“Tickets?” The rather tall, balding man at the door asked.

Marlene leaned up to him and gave him a wink. “We’re on the list.”

Oh no. Lily should not have let her drink that bottle of wine when they met up with Mary from the office at the pub. They’d opted to bring her along just because she was the only other girl on the editing team that wouldn’t throw themselves immediately at anyone remotely involved with the band that had swept the nation time and time again. Plus, as Marlene loved to point out, she wasn’t as pretty as Lily.

“My name is Lily Evans.” She mumbled to the man and behind her, in the long line of giggling girls and blokes with messy hair, there were a few whispers. It wasn’t as though naming their first EP ‘Alright, Evans?’ wasn’t shaming enough. This is why she avoided the idea of them all together. On the bright side, since they’d actually started professionally recording, there had been no mentions of the girl with hair like fire and a heart to match. Not directly, at least.

The doorman nodded and let them through. She was pretty sure her face was either the same color as her hair or as white as the linoleum floor. 

Marlene happily bounced into the venue and stopped to look over at the stage. “Literally nothing has changed.”

As Lily glanced over, she saw Sirius balancing the mic stand on his forehead and attempting walking around, Remus sitting cross-legged on the edge of the stage with a pint, and Peter leaning over the bar - Peter who had lost off of the baby weight and for fuck’s sake, did they all just happen to get ridiculously good looking?

“Evans!” Sirius grinned, and set the mic stand down.

Just before he jumped down from the front of the stage, Remus didn’t even glance up from his book, but scolded him all the same. “Use the stairs, dear.”

“They really haven’t changed.” Lily whispered and leaned into Marlene’s ear.

A group of guys were wheeling equipment across the floor towards the backstage area and Sirius crossed the venue to greet them. “Marls!” His entire face lit up and the blonde jumped into a hug. “Fuck, I haven’t seen you since… I can’t remember when!” They started to ramble on about old times and what’s changed and from the sounds of it, Marlene had been keeping it pretty quiet from her that they’d kept in contact. She’d seethe over that later.

Mary nudged her softly and smirked. “So where is he, then?”

She sighed. “Not here, thankfully. Maybe I can avoid him and just have a catch up with the lads.”

“What’s the big deal, anyway? You pretty much never talk about it.” Mary was shorter than Lily and adorable in that way that you just wanted to give her a hug, but she was super nice. The only problem is that she took a genuine interest in things - which is probably why she wrote feature articles and not the fashion, arts, gossip, and lifestyle nonsense that Marlene roped her into. 

All of this is why Lily stuck with editing and occasionally writing the odd editorial piece when she felt she needed to speak her mind.

“I don’t really talk about it, Mary, sorry. It’s a long, ugly tale.”

At some point, Peter and Remus had joined them and Peter was the first to pipe up. “Long, ugly tales. Must be talking about James.” He stuck his hand out to Mary with that boyish smile that always got him out of trouble in school. “Hi, I’m Pete. If Lily is still anything like she was in school, that means she’s going to reel you into very boring stories about things that no offense, Evans, but don’t belong on this side of a few pints.”

“I’m Mary.” Mildly enamoured, Mary shook his hand and followed him to the bar.

“Well, that didn’t take long. Good choice, Marlene.” Remus shook his head, smiling, and then bumped her arm lightly. “Relax a bit, Lily. The fat-headed git locks himself in the practice room on his own before most shows. So, you’re a big time editor now, huh?”

Nodding, Lily accepted a drink from him and frowned. “Kind of…” She really did feel bad now that he was stood in front of her. It wasn’t Remus’ fault that everything happened and he stayed loyal to what he loved rather than cut ties with his three best friends and a promising career. She should have never held it against him, which is something Lily had felt for a long time but never knew how to say it. “Remus…”

“Yep?”

“You really do look great. And you seem like you’re really happy.”

He grinned, wider and brighter than she’d ever known him to. “This suits me. The traveling around, being with my best mates, and playing music. I could care less if we sold a single album.”

“You don’t seem to shy from the crowd anymore, if that means anything.”

Leaning an elbow on the bar, he shook his head and took a drink of his beer. “Nah. I don’t even hide in the corner when I play anymore. And,” he held up his glass, “I can actually sing in public!”

She held hers up to toast him. “To overcoming crippling social anxiety.”

“And finally getting over your ex and coming to see your oldest friend in his element.” If anyone but Remus Lupin had said that, it would be backhanded. But with Remus there weren’t the layers of mindgames - at least not  _ her _ Remus. But, then again, he wasn’t her Remus anymore - she’d ruined that. “Earth to Lily!” He laughed. “Get out of your head, I was kidding!” He tapped their glasses. “To overcoming social anxiety and setting Pete up with your hot coworker!”

“Oh god. Poor Mary.” Lily let herself relax and laugh, allowing herself to actually have a good time.

For about an hour, the five of them told stories back of forth. All the grandiere of riding around the world on a bus or van made for some hilarious tales - as did Marlene and Lily university shenanigans. They got a retelling of the very spontaneous nature of Sirius and Remus’ impromptu eloping, Peter being arrested for public intoxication in Chicago on their US tour, and that time they pissed on the side of U2’s tour bus just for the laugh and nearly got caught.

“So you three can chill out here, or if you’d like, we’re heading to the upstairs private bar to watch.” Sirius stretched and then finished off his last beer. “I’d recommend the private bar if you don’t want to be pinned to a wall with a sweaty crowd. Plus, the owner loves Remus and lets us smoke inside.”

“I sang his daughter happy birthday on the phone last year when we were here.” Remus chuckled and took out a tin of backy. “But, really, you should come up. It’s usually a good time. It’ll just be us and the opening bands up there.”

Marlene answered before anyone could. “Yeah, absolutely. That sounds like good fun!”

Putting an arm around Marlene, Mary nodded. “I’m in. C’mon, Lily!”

Taking a deep breath, she nodded. “Alright, lead the way, then.”

 

The opening band was pretty good and she was actually having a really good time. The private upstairs bar was tiny and a bit more cramped than she’d like, but it was nice just to let loose. She’d had quite a bit of wine, but the guys had all turned to water at this point so that they’d still be able to play without screwing up on stage. 

“I’m going to run to the loo really quick. Where is it?” Lily asked Sirius.

He nodded and pointed to the exit on the left. “Third door down. Has a stick figure on it.”

She stood and finished off her glass, walking towards the corridor. Just before she reached the bathroom, she could hear someone playing the guitar and stopped. The others wouldn’t be able to see her from here, luckily. Lily let herself listen for a moment. Eight years and she could still tell that it was him strumming on the guitar, correcting himself, and humming all the while. Her breath hitched in her chest and she counted the doors. There were only three doors in this corridor. The bathroom was the last one. The guitar must’ve been coming from the second one that was cracked open. 

Mild panic set in as she realized she’d have to walk right passed him.  _ Okay, Lily, chill out. It’s just a quick few steps and he probably won’t even notice. _ Since when was she afraid of anything? This is the same redhead that beat her potential mugger with her purse to the point that he ran off - mind you, her purse was extremely heavy. She could handle this. 

She handled it.

The other difficult part was going to be walking passed it again as she opened the bathroom door to head back. Why was she freaking out? She’d come of her own accord to this concert, knowing that  _ he _ would be here. So now she stood about a foot from darting across the threshold of that door, but chickening out. Could she just spend the entire show in the bathroom? Would anyone notice? Oh shit, he was singing now too. This was absolutely killing her. 

It was like he knew she was there because it wasn’t his own stuff he was singing. No, he was being cliche James Potter. He was playing the Arctic Monkeys. He used to say he liked to play this song before a show because it built up his confidence. Eight years and really, nothing had changed. Nothing except for Lily. 

Unfortunately, she was stuck in her own monologue and hadn’t realized he had stopped playing. Nor had she noticed the noise of him setting the guitar down. And she was still formulating the best possible plan of action when the heard the door creak. Her aforementioned plan of action? Out the window. Now she was just falling back on hiding in the bathroom. 

All she managed was to turn around.

“Lily?” 

And then she froze, mid turn, forcing her eyes closed and cursing herself for ever agreeing to go get coffee for Marlene McKinnon today. At this point, there was actually nothing that she could possibly do the get herself out of this situation except for fake amnesia - and even that probably wouldn’t work. 

That’s when he grabbed her wrist and pulled her around to face him.

_ Holy mother of what the fuck _ . She needed to keep her cool. Lily was well aware that the man had kept his good looks through the years of posters plastered around venues and the TV spots that she abruptly turned off, but she had never been forced to actually look at him.

Messy black hair.  _ Check _ . Thick rimmed glasses.  _ Check _ . Gorgeous tanned skin. Check. Chocolatey eyes with flecks of gold.  _ Check _ . Lovely biceps and a tight t shirt?  _ Totally new _ . Entire left arm completely tattooed?  _ Pinch me _ . Lost puppy look that he’d perfected over the years, times a billion, with the added shock bonus?  _ Kill me now _ .

“Hi.” Eight years and all she could muster up was ‘hi’. She really had lost it.

“What are you doing here?” The surprise wasn’t falling off of his face.

“I had to pee.”

“You had to pee.”

“Yes.”

“What are you doing, here, at  _ this _ venue?  _ Tonight _ .”

“I’m still trying to decide if it was temporary insanity or if I just hit my head that hard. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come. I’ll go,” She mumbled faster than she rattled off grammatical errors to university interns. It was difficult to avoid his eyes and she quickly stepped past him to head for the emergency exit stairwell - this was definitely an emergency.

“Wait -” He grabbed her by the wrist again. “Lily Evans, stop for thirty seconds and fucking talk to me.” 

She turned back towards him and yanked her wrist back, anxiously folding her arms over her chest.

“You can’t just show up here and stand in the bloody hall while I’m practicing after you walked out and said you never wanted to see me again. I’ve done well enough on my own, thanks. So if this is some attempt at-”

“What the fuck are you on about?” Now she was getting angry.

“It took me a long time to get over what happened, so you can’t just waltz back into my life just to fuck off again because your  _ opportunities _ are more important than anything else.” There was pain written all over his face. He had never been one to hide his emotions.

“James, there was a lot more going on and I -”

“No. You didn’t ‘owe’ me any explanation about it then and I don’t want one now. Why are you here?”

Saved by the best friend. Sirius put a hand on his shoulder. “I invited her, mate.”

James turned around to glare at Sirius, shook his head, and then pushed passed them both to go down the emergency stairwell on his own. 

Sirius groaned and patted her back. “Don’t mind him. He’s a moody fucking bastard who can’t get over anything, let alone himself. I’ll handle him.” He offered her a quick smile. “Go. Enjoy your night. Marlene was beginning to worry that you’d fallen in.”

“I’m sorry.” Lily whimpered, trying to hide her quivering lip.

“Don’t be. He’s just a dickhead sometimes - all the time.” And then Sirius was running down the stairs after him. “Oi, Prongs, you bastard! Come here!”

Lily had to walk away to avoid the screaming match that had begun. As she sat down at the bar, Marlene threw her arms around her and laughed, pointing to Peter trying extremely hard to impress Mary. She and Remus had supposedly been watching him try and fail. Mary wasn’t  _ that _ easy.

 

By the time Sirius came back, Remus and Peter were heading back to get ready as their set was in half an hour. Lily noticed James wasn’t with them, and caught the quick whisper into Remus’ ear that made him roll his eyes and walk a bit quicker. 

“Hey, Evans,” Sirius leaned up next to her. “Don’t worry about him. He was caught off guard and acted like, well, he acted like James.” He gave her a wink and then started walking backwards towards where Remus and Peter disappeared. “I think you’re gonna enjoy the show though.”

So far, he’d been right. Right as they ran out on stage, ‘Mardy Bum’ started playing over the venue speakers and she couldn’t help but smile, knowing that was essentially an apology for screaming at her. Peter was first holding up his drumsticks and standing behind his kit while Remus came out with his fret board in one hand and a beer in the other. At least he didn’t still wear sunglasses when they played anymore. The crowd was loving it and they hadn’t even all come out yet. And then Sirius and James ran out, the lights dimmed, and everyone went nuts.

She’d even found herself singing along to the catchier songs that had played on the radio - something she wouldn’t admit even on penalty of death. Marlene and Mary, on the other hand, seemed to know every word to every song. 

About midway through their set is when James finally glanced up towards the upper level bar. He looked straight at her as he thanked everyone for coming, saying that it meant a lot. She let herself lock eyes with him and offered a smile. At this, he gave a sheepish grin, started playing again and then was back to jumping around the stage. He absolutely had more of a bounce in his step after that, though. 

“Is this a smile I see from Miss Lily I-Hate-Everything Evans?” Marlene joked from beside her. “I saw the look he gave you. I  _ remember _ that look.”

“I ran into him on my way back from the bathroom.”

“And you didn’t fucking tell me?” She shoved her playfully. “What did you say?”

“That I had to pee.”

“You’re joking.”

“Deadly serious, actually.” She laughed at herself, turning back to see Remus interact with the crowd, something unheard of back in the day. 

“Okay, honestly, what happened? You’ve been off in Lily-lalaland since around then, which explains a lot.” Marlene’s tone grew a bit more concerned.

“He had a go at me. I didn’t get a word in. Sirius stopped him.”

“Fuck, Lils, are you alright?” Now she was flooded with concern.

“I’m fine. I guess he’d had a bit pent up for a few years. And he didn’t know we were here.”

“I’ll skin Sirius alive.” Marlene grumbled.

“You’ll have to get in line, McKinnon. If anyone is skinning my brother, it’ll be me first.” A near replica of Sirius Black leaned on the railing on the other side of Marlene. “I have to buy the pub next door a new back door thanks to either him or James punching a giant dent into it. Luckily the owner let me pay him off and didn’t make a scene.”

Marlene’s entire face lit up like a Christmas tree and she threw her arms around the tall, dark, and seriously handsome man. “Regulus fucking Black! I didn’t know you were here!” She gave him a squeeze and then pulled back to look at him. “You got bloody gorgeous - and tall!” 

Rolling her eyes, Lily went back to watching the last couple songs. When they finished she watched as the crowd chanted for one more song and they gave it to them. An oldie off of  _ Alright, Evans? _ Afterward, she looked over at Marlene, who was extremely excitable and telling Mary horribly embarrassing stories about Regulus, much to his dismay.

Her stomach began to sink, though, as she knew the guys would be coming back up here. Maybe it was fitting that she let James get his feelings out at least a little bit and then have a short lived connection through a few songs. Lily was ready to leave, but it was pretty obvious that Marlene and Mary were not. She could easily just slip out and then text Marlene to let her know she’d gone home. That seemed like a great plan.

Down the emergency exit stairs she went and in good timing too, as she could hear Sirius laughing as they were walking up the other way. Lily swallowed and pulled the hair band off of her wrist, tying her hair into a quick messy bun before walking through the door into the alley. Hopefully she could grab a ride home at the taxi rank and would get back in time to make a cuppa and order a pizza or something. 

She hadn’t anticipated that it was a Friday night and there would be a queue for a taxi. Opting just to walk the fifteen minutes home, Lily headed back towards her flat, humming the last song The Marauders had played. It was starting to drizzle, but that never bothered her - at least it would cool things down some. 

Behind her, she could hear an obnoxiously loud whistle. Thinking it was some prick commenting about her walking home alone on a Friday night, she turned around with a scowl. Instead it was James Potter less than fifty feet away.

“Alright, Evans?” he shouted with a nervous laugh. His hair was started to get plastered down to his head with the bit of rain and he closed the distance between them, hands shoved into his pockets like he used to do when something was making him anxious.

“Pretty decent.” She smirked, rubbing some of the raindrops off of her shoulders. “Just saw this band and they were okay.”

“ _ Okay _ ? We were fucking brilliant, thank you very much.” James grinned and caught up to her.

“Maybe.”

“Why’d you leave?”

Biting her lip, she shook her head. “A lot of reasons. You didn’t seem keen on me being there. I didn’t want to watch Mary toy with Peter all night or be disturbed by Marlene’s disturbing new lady boner for Regulus. And I thought if that was the way things were left, then it was okay.”

“It’s never been okay.” He nodded towards the way she was walking for them to continue. “But it’s a Friday night and you shouldn’t be walking home by yourself in the the rain with just a tiny top on. I’ll at least make sure you get home safe.”

“I’m fine, thanks. Managed this long, didn’t I?” But before she could protest, he was taking off his flannel shirt from over his t shirt and putting it over her shoulders. “Thanks, I guess.”

They walked in silence for a bit, both obviously going over anything they could potentially say without feeling comfortable enough to break their stride. She wondered what his endgame was in doing this and whether she should’ve gone to the show at all. It could only serve to open up a lot of old wounds she spent most of her first year at university drinking away and then dealing with long afterward.

At some point, it was James who spoke first. He’d already rolled a cigarette, smoked it, and chucked the filter to the side of the road somewhere. By the shakiness in his voice, it wasn’t hard to tell that he’d needed to muster up a lot of courage to say what he was trying to say. “I’ve always thought, y’know, that maybe we could’ve called him Harry.”

So, he was always one to say things for shock value, but this was an entirely new pitch. She stopped and felt rooted to her spot, looking over at him like a doe in headlights. 

“If - If we had decided otherwise.” James hung his head and rubbed his face. “Sorry. It was just something I’d wanted to say out loud for a long time.”

Lily pulled the flannel over her shoulders more and nodded, completely unsure of how to respond to that.

“I think about it a lot, actually,” He went on. “If things were different. If things wouldn’t have ended like they did.”

She pointed to the door ahead of them. “This is my flat.” Lily couldn’t bring herself to look at him and instead fumbled in her back for the keys. She left his side to open the door, hands shaking. From behind her, he steadied her hand and she pushed the door open.

“Fuck, Lily, please just talk to me. One night, just talk to me about it,” He pleaded.

“We were eighteen. What did you want us to do?” She stepped into the foyer, still in a state of minor devastation that he would ever in his right mind bring this up. 

“That wasn’t supposed to be the end of us. And then all of a sudden you were gone and I didn’t even have an explanation! One day I’m driving you home from, from  _ that _ , and then the next I go to your house and your Mum said you’d left and wouldn’t tell me where.” His voice was trembling, eyes begging for her to just acknowledge him. “I’ve spent eight years not knowing what the fuck happened.”

“You were planning to go on tour. I got into university. It would’ve ended ugly.”

“It did end ugly.”

“That was a long time ago, James. Do we have to talk about this?” She went to shut the door, but he pushed himself in as well and closed it behind them. “Look, I should never have come to your show. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dredge up old feelings.”

“They’re not old feelings for me.” He grabbed her wrist, and held tightly this time. “I’m passed being upset, being angry, lost, heartbroken, and everything else. I’ve had that time to move on, but it’s still there.”

“What is?” She clenched her fists, wishing he’d just go away.

“The feeling that something is still missing.”

“It’s been too long. I can’t believe you followed me home to beg for-”

“Beg?” He laughed and let go. “You think I walked in the rain to beg? The fact that you showed up tonight proves I don’t need to beg. Why else have you never once come to a single concert or reached out to me? I knew you my entire life and then you were just gone. I’m really sorry that I yelled at you earlier, but  _ you _ walked back into  _ my _ life, okay?”

Panic. Panic and being near tears, and really wanting to eat an entire pizza all to herself and sob over reruns of How I Met Your Mother. “I didn’t walk back into your life. I nearly knocked Remus over with my purse while I was getting coffee and they told me to come.”

“And you did.”

“Marlene wanted to.”

“No one makes you do anything you do want to do.”

Alarms were going off in her head, her heart was beating a mile a minute, and she had to stay perfectly still as not to collapse. “One night. One night and that’s it.”

“That’s all I’m asking. James Potter and Lily Evans. One night only. Order a pizza, I’ll pay. Just talk to me. Tell me what happened and if at the end of talking, you want me to leave, then you can pretend I don’t exist for another near decade.”

When she came back from changing into warm pajamas, he was sat on the couch with the pizza box and a bottle of wine in front of him. It was such a strange sight to see James Potter, twenty-five year old James Potter, sat in all his grown up glory on her tiny blue couch tapping his feet with nerves like he did at eighteen.

“I got pepperoni and green peppers, is that okay?” He looked over as she sat beside him. 

“That’s my favorite.”

“So, I didn’t exactly drink away all of my memories, then. Noted.” James smiled softly at her before handing her the glass of wine he’d already poured for her and flipping the lid on the pizza box. 

 

The sun was entirely too bright in her eyes as it seeped through the blinds. She reached for her covers, but realized that she didn’t have any. She had fallen asleep on the couch in her pajamas and there was a breathing lump under her top half. As she turned her head, she saw a mess of black hair and a her hands were gripped into a tight black t shirt. His glasses were unfolded and sat on the corner of the coffee table and he must’ve been in the most awkward position ever.

Right on cue, the door creaked open and she could hear hushed voices. She was too tired to greet her flatmate or care that she was in an extremely strange predicament, so Lily just lay her head back down on James’ chest. 

“Is that-?” That sounded like Mary.

Marlene shushed her.

“I thought she hated him.”

“Nah, she didn’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> Took a short break for writing AOBM to do this one-off. Just had the initial idea in my head and thought I might as well. Plus, I don't think I write nearly enough from Lily's perspective.
> 
> Comments, kudos, and the lot are all hugely appreciated! As usual, feel free to find me on tumblr: jprongsx


End file.
